grade-a-memo:

thegayswhocouldfly:

so me and my siblings (theres 3 of us) were eating dinner with my dad and we were talking about dad jokes and all of a sudden my dad goes “ive only made 3 jokes in my life and theyre all sitting in front of me”

thats it

the dad joke to end all dad jokes

*proceeds to call children joke 1, 2, and 3 for the rest of the meal*

(Source: whatakarkatch)

273153 notes / 2 months ago / reblog
43514 notes
pharaohmcfancypants:


why snails????????????????????????????????????????????

why not
138832 notes
42553 notes
lazylunatic:
vodkapussy
:

peterfromtexas:

Heart surgeon after 23-hour (successful) lung heart transplantation. His assistant is sleeping in the corner

saw this in the national geographic best 100, this was my favourite

Will never not reblog, it looks like a battlefield in some way to me.
when my phone doesn’t have enough battery to let me take pics or make calls, but it has enough battery to keep reminding me every 10 seconds that the battery is low.

sodamnrelatable:

image

more relatable?

(Source: olvidare)

99710 notes / 2 months ago / reblog
miniature:

i’m looking for a tumblr girlfriend to make FAMOUS! Following everyone back until I find one :)